So this is Sharon that I am holding at Phillip Hayden Foundation, she is 9 months old and so sweet.
I started noticing my thoughts being about her during the day. There were many days that we were so busy touring and also doing projects for the directors of PHF, that we didn’t get to see the kids. I think we all felt this, we wanted to spend as much time with these kids as possible. We were starting to get used to the kids and nannies, and learning how to approach them. The kids and nannies were getting used to us being around also.
At first when we visited the rooms filled with the kids, there were always nannies with us. But very soon, we noticed they would all be gone, they were getting ready to feed the kids or put them down. We were trusted with their children, they could see the love we had for these kids, in the way we played, held and ministered to them.
I still felt the nannies eyes on us. I also, was very careful to always ask if I could pick up Sharon or one of the other kids. To show my respect and knowing that they were their mommies, that I would be leaving in a few weeks and maybe wouldn’t be there again.
Looking back at my journal when I was there, I was already feeling a change in my thoughts on adoption. I have three daughters, 21, 18 and almost 15. For many years now, I have felt no calling to have another child. I held our last, like she was our last. I have worked in the nursery at church and loved it but never felt like I was supposed to have another child. My sister also adopted a boy around 9 years ago and once again, felt like wow I’m so glad our girls are older. All this time being around little ones, I felt complete, I felt like our family was complete, and was happy to hand back a child to it’s mother.
But God has another plan for our family, it started to take root in China. Also knowing and wondering how can I tell my husband this. What will he think, I was already praying for God’s wisdom and asking him to speak to Michael and open and change his heart like he had been doing to me. I was past the financial, age, time and all those issues when you consider having a child. I knew God was birthing something new in my heart.
Phillippians 2:13 For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.
Stay tuned, more to come later!
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