Little Feet’s Blog

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Pequenopie “Little Feet” May 17, 2009

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baby feet 9

I’ve been struck with the many changes our family has encountered within the last six months. God has done so many changes in us and growth, that I look back and am shocked to see it. At the same time, we have so much freedom. We are enjoying these days we spend with our children. With our oldest it is twinkling of the eye, since she is getting married next year.  With our middle child it is precious moments , pretty soon she will be going to college, working and spending time out of our house. With our youngest we still have some time to make up. We were so busy and consumed with our ministry work, neglecting what we had at home. Even our extended families and our quiet time. It wasn’t until our girls sat us down, that we really took a hard look at our lives and said what the heck are we doing.

Since that we have realized that above else family should come first. Our girls come first, spending time with them, talking to them, just watching a movie with them. Laughing, crying, praying, life as God wanted it. He made families to be together, to break bread together. How sometimes we can put our jobs, our ministries, our everything above our family.

To have my sister tell me I’m glad you are back, that hurts. I promise myself, my family, God and those around me that I will never let this happen again. Taking that hard look, put everything in perspective. When I came back from China this last time,I knew something wasn’t right with our lives. I saw how stressed my husband was working a full-time job and then rushing off after a quick dinner. To have the time to have a nice dinner every night is so amazing, to sit and read a book, or watch a movie, together.

Obviously when we were in the thick of things we couldn’t see it. But when I came back from China I knew that our lives would have to change, how could we adopt a baby and be out almost every night. Not going to happen and not fair to our youngest to babysit every night.

Since getting a baby kitten I remember so much of what it takes to be a new mother and father again. Constantly having patience, correcting  that child. Our girls were into everything, your eyes always had to be on them. Touching things, putting things into their mouth, and a constant stream of No’s.. 

Teaching them manners, how to swim, how to ride a bike, everything. They learn everything from us. Keeping them safe, out of the street, teaching them rules, don’t touch that, don’t open that. Right now with our teens we are teaching them still, how to be young women, who will one day be wifes and mothers themselves. It is a big job but that is the duty we are entrusted with.

So while we continue on the passage, we will continue to enjoy everyday we have with our family and friends. We will continue to wait for this child that God has implanted on our hearts. This child that is so wanted and loved, even now.

Healing does not mean going back to the way things were before,
but rather allowing what is now to move us closer to God
— Ram Dass

Leave comments or scripture, would love to hear from you!

More to come later!

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” February 25, 2009

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So this is Sharon that I am holding at Phillip Hayden Foundation, she is 9 months old and so sweet.

I started noticing  my thoughts being about her during the day. There were many days that we were so busy touring and also doing projects for the directors of PHF, that we didn’t get to see the kids. I think we all felt this, we wanted to spend as much time with these kids as possible. We were starting to get used to the kids and nannies, and learning how to approach them. The kids and nannies were getting used to us being around also.

At first when we visited the rooms filled with the kids, there were always nannies with us. But very soon, we noticed they would all be gone, they were getting ready to feed the kids or put them down. We were trusted with their children, they could see the love we had for these kids, in the way we played, held and ministered to them.

I still felt the nannies eyes on us. I also, was very careful to always ask if I could pick up Sharon or one of the other kids. To show my respect and knowing that they were their mommies, that I would be leaving in a few weeks and maybe wouldn’t be there again.

Looking back at my journal when I was there, I was already feeling a change in my thoughts on adoption. I have three daughters, 21, 18 and almost 15. For many years now, I have felt no calling to have another child. I held our last, like she was our last. I have worked in the nursery at church and loved it but never felt like I was supposed to have another child. My sister also adopted a boy around 9 years ago and once again, felt like wow I’m so glad our girls are older. All this time being around little ones, I felt complete, I felt like our family was complete, and was happy to hand back a child to it’s mother.

But God has another plan for our family, it started to take root in China. Also knowing and wondering how can I tell my husband this. What will he think, I was already praying for God’s wisdom and asking him to speak to Michael and open and change his heart like he had been doing to me. I was past the financial, age, time  and all those issues when you consider having a child. I knew God was birthing something new in my heart.

Phillippians 2:13  For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

Stay tuned, more to come later!

I welcome your comments on my blog.. so comment away..

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” February 10, 2009

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baby-4       God can change our heart in one instant.. Instantly! 

 A close friend just encouraged me, that all the process we have to go thru to adopt, is making it possible for God to put the right child in our lives. That he is perfecting the whole thing. That maybe that child isn’t even born yet. The Lord is doing this in his timing. How awesome that we can be comforted  by our Holy God, in all the things we do in our lives.

 

There is a little girl named Mei Mei, at Phillip Hayden. She was around 5 years old, I would guess. She was a beautiful little girl, with these big doe  eyes. She has an inoperable heart condition. We prayed, held, and feel in love with this angelic baby girl. She doesn’t have a chance to have a family, to be adopted.. But she does have a nanny that is like a mother to love her, hold her and keep her. She is surrounded with many people that love her. She will pass away one day and go home to our God, who will hold her forever in his hands.

This past week a little baby girl, died. I’m not sure how old she was and I never held her in my arms. Her name was Patti and she had a ailment that she died from. I ask for prayer for the nannies, doctors, and the missionaries that fell in love with this precious child and are feeling her loss.

 

Precious one,
So small,
So sweet

Dancing in
on angel feet
Straight from Heaven’s
brightest star

What a miracle
you are!

More to come later!