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Pequenopie “Little Feet” May 27, 2009

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I tiptoed into your room one night.
I watched you sleeping there.
Your tiny body looked so snug
Wrapped in peaceful slumber’s care.

I thought of how you came to be
The child we’d longed to know.
I wondered at the sight of you:
“How could she let you go?”

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I
Felt the pain she must have known.
For I will have to let you go
Some day when you are grown.

A mother I might never meet
Had given me her son.
Yet, surely as you’ve filled my heart,
A piece of hers you’d won.

“How could she let you go?”
The question kept returning.
And in the depths of my own heart.
A question kept on burning.

“How can I ever let you go
When years have come and gone?”
I stood there by your crib until
The nighttime turned to dawn.

And as the sun peeked through the shades,
The voice of God broke through.
“I trusted her to give him life
And now I’m trusting to you.

“To show him what is right and wrong,
to love him and to be
The one who teaches him the way
To come back home to me.

“He wasn’t hers to give, you know.
And he’s not yours to own.
I’ve placed him in your life to love
But he is mine … on loan.”

by Valerie Kay Gwin

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” May 9, 2009

mom1

It’s Mother’s Day weekend and in the United States we celebrate this special day and give tribute and honor to our Mother’s. I was surprised and didn’t realize that this great day was started in 1870 and a lady named Julia Ward Howe wrote a poem called Mother’s Day Proclamation of 1870. It was a call for disarmament and for women to come together to seek diplomatic ways to settle disagreements among Nations.

As I found this awesome picture of a Mother in Thailand I see other things. In Mother’s all over the world I see strength, love, truth, honor, integrity, and kindness. There are so many things to say about our Mother’s. They take on so much, they have to put others before themselves, there will be heartache. There is so much to prepare a child to walk into their own lives dependent of their moms. They get very little sleep when their child is a baby, they rock and cuddle that baby. I remember being in the Hospital after having Beka, my first child and hardly being with her and when the nurses were bringing all the babies to the mommies, and recognizing her cry. I knew that was her and it was, that God has given us a miracle to be a mom.

I also think of the millions of mom’s who can’t have their own children, from their own bodies. But if you see a Mother who has adopted a child, you would have no idea that, that child didn’t come from her body. My sister shows that clear as day, her little boy and her are Mother and son. That’s it, no difference between her daughter, that did come from her. They are both her children, that she loves with all her heart, body and soul. That she will worry about, have joy, concern and so much more.

No matter what country you live in, no matter what conditions you live in, Mothers are all the same. 

They love without expectation, without expecting anything back.

A friend in China that has been going through the adoption process for 4 1/2 years, just sent a letter,  telling everyone that by Fall she will be a Mother. What an awesome Mother’s Day gift for this year. After all her patience, tears, waiting, joy and hope she will be a Mother soon. The wait is almost over.

On this Mother’s Day, I hope and pray that the child our family wants to adopt, will not take too long to come to us. I hope and pray that maybe by the next Mother’s Day of 2010 we will be that much closer to bringing our child home. That once that child is put in my arms, the difference of my children and this new child will melt away. I pray for patience, for joy and peace through this whole thing. That we would trust in our Lord with all our heart and mind. That when it seems too difficult, too expensive, to hard, we would continue to look at what God has planted in our lives. That he is enough, he will do what he wishes.. That I can lean on him for my strength, my joy and my peace.

Ask and it will be give to you, seek and you will find,

knock and the door will be opened to you.

For everyone who asks will receives, he who seeks finds,

and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Matthew 7:7-8

So our family will continue to ask, seek and knock and wait on his timing, and will.

More to come later  and have a Happy Mother’s Day!

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” May 7, 2009

nepal-fb1 Lately I have been  having times of  doubt and really not having as much patience as I should have. I have looked at how much money we are going to need for this adoption and it feels so overwhelming. I realize that this economy is not good, people are loosing jobs and their houses right and left. I also know that Michael and I can’t do this on our own, that we need support. 

I feel so ready to get this process going, it’s been 6 long months since I got home from China. If feels like 6 years or a lifetime. When you are ready for this, it’s all you can think about. Sometimes I have such a huge amount of faith and all around me I see this is possible, that God will do this for us. But other times I have doubt and fear and questions. I know God has put this in my heart and I know it is true. I feel the same as I did 6 months ago and if anything I feel stronger about it.

 

I know it is going to be hard, difficult and life changing. Bringing any child into your world is earth shattering. I remember being a new mom of Beka and only being 22, not knowing who this child was. I knew she was ours, I loved  her already. But no one gives you a pamphlet with instructions on how to be a good mommy or daddy. You are on your own, you are blending two sets of ideas into one. I am thankful that Michael and I have always supported each other in this life and journey.

I have to remember that even though I’m not pregnant, this is our pregnacy, to prepare and enjoy this time. To trust God that he will move heaven and earth to make what he wants happen. That by ourselves nothing can happen without him. To just have faith in him, he has worked out everything so far. Why would I stop trusting him now. The Finish Line is before us and we just need to pace ourselves to reach it, in his time and way.

 

 

A child to pour our love on…We have that to give.    

 

 

Pour My Love On You                                                    

 

I don’t know how to say exactly how I feel
And I can’t begin to tell you what your love has meant
I’m lost for words
Is there a way to show the passion in my heart
Can I express how truly great I think you are
You’re my dearest friend

Lord this is my desire to pour my love on you    

        CHORUS:
Like oil upon your feet
Like wine for you to drink
Life water from my heart
I pour my love on you
With praises like the perfume
I lavish mine on you
Till every drop is gone
I pour my love on you 

 Is there a way to show the passion in my heart
Can I express how truly great I think you are,
My dearest friend 

Lord this is my desire to pour my love on you

CHORUS

By Phillips , Craig and Dean

 

 I am writing this blog to thank all my numerous friends and family, who encourage me and tell me to take tiny steps like my blog, that God will give us provision, that God is making us wait for the child God wants for us and all the prayers that so many are sending our way.. Thank You….

 

More to come later!

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” April 26, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — pequenopie @ 7:55 pm
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pic221This is a little boy or girl in Nepal who is a orphan now or at one time. Our family is excited and ready to start this difficult journey on to adopting and fulfilling the things that God wants in our lives.

We are at the very begining of the process and we are inviting friends and family to partner with us on this great journey. Please stay tune for further information.

More to come later!

 

April 23, 2009

WHO WILL SAVE THE CHILDREN?



Cry for all the innocent ones
born into a world
that’s lost its heart
For those who never
learn to dream
because their hope is crushed
before they can start
And we shake our fists
at the air
and say, “If God is love,
how can this be fair?”

But we are His hands
We are His voice
We are the ones who must
make the choice
And if it isn’t now,
tell me when?
If it isn’t you, then tell me
who will save the children?
Who will save the children?

We count our blessings one by one
yet we have forgotten how to give
It seems that we don’t want to face
all the hungry and homeless
who struggle to live
But heaven is watching tonight
tugging at our hearts
to do what’s right

And we are His hands
We are His voice
We are the ones who must
make the choice
And if it isn’t you, then tell me
who will save the children?
Who will save the children?

As we observe them through our T.V. screens
they seem so distant and unreal
But they bleed like we bleed
And they feel what we feel
Oh, save the children
Save the children
Save the children

Now we decide that nothing can change
and throw up our hands in numb despair
And we lost a piece of our souls
by teaching ourselves just
how not to care
But Christ would have gone to the cross
just to save one child from being lost

And we are His hands
We are His voice
We are the ones who must
make the choice
And it must be now
There’s no time to waste
It must be you
No one can take your place
Can’t you see that only we
Can save the children
Save the children
Save the children
Please, save the children

Written By Randy Stonehill
© Copyright 1984 by Stonehillian Music &
Word Music (a division of Word, Inc.)

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” March 21, 2009

daddy-feet2As of my last post I wrote on how I was keeping my heart and soul quietly to myself. I even remember having our de-brief with our mission board and trying to explain the changes in my life from this trip. It was so hard to explain and I even then don’t know if I showed what was in my heart and head. Maybe i did, I really am not sure. It is so hard to put things in words, things that you never even thought or felt. When God shows you his heart he sometimes has to change you and make you ready to see his wants, his hurts, his love. I just know that when God changes you, everything you thought you were and are  is gone. Changed, made new, different, transformed.

Changed-  to make different in some particular : alter, to make radically different : transform,  to give a different position, course, or direction to,  to replace with another , to undergo transformation, transition, or substitution , change , alter , vary , modify mean to make or become different.

Romans 12:2  Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will.

I have now realized that this change, this thing that was wrote on my sleeve, was there, right there, for everyone to see. That I wasn’t fooling anyone, or hiding anything. It was clearly written on me. Someone on the mission board, called it being branded. I was branded with a love for our China believers and un-believers when I went to Hong Kong in 07′ and brought  bibles in. That was the beginning of a change in me. Seeing how they are persecuted just for believing in Jesus, that most of them  never have a chance to hear his name. That in the USA,  people hear the gospel over 400 times a year.

Then when I went to Beijing and worked at PHF, it was another love of the China people. A love for their orphans, a understanding of why these babies are thrown away. That a mother may not even have a choice in the matter, even if the child is wanted. China’s culture is for the grandparents, their son and family, to support each other as a family unit. Since there is a one child per family law, families wouldn’t want sick children or females, since that child would be everything to the family. If they had a female, once she is married she would go with her husband, to his family. So these women are having no choice in the matter.

After my husband sat me down one day and said you want to adopt right, we started to pray for what God’s will is. At first there were concerns on his part, with our ages, and our independence when he is at retirement age. Also our youngest is 15, so we would have changes in our lives. We can go out in the evening and not have to hire a babysitter anymore. We know our eldest is on her way to her own life, getting married next year and our two youngest are in 9th and 12th grade.

My husband came back to me about a week later with a verse that shows what God’s heart is on adoption.

James 1:27   Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress

It’s ironic that while we were at PHF, Diane and I shared a room and that was the scripture on our door. I believe God had this planned all out for us before we knew anything about it. That God planned to wreck me and change me and that our house would be a refuge for an orphan. When I realized that there are unwanted orphans all over the world, I knew that we have a home and we could love this child and give this child a family.

1 Corinthians 14:4-8, 13    Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record or wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.         And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

More to come later!

 

 

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” March 5, 2009

img_0217This is Diana holding little Tristan at Phillip Hayden Foundation. He is one of the little babies there, that have cleft lip. He was such a happy baby, who jumped like crazy in his little jumper seat and always smiled his big silly grin.

Just a baby who wants and needs love. These kids had our hearts wrapped around their little fingers. We wanted to hold and be with them as much as we could every day.

 We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life.
But those who make their journey home across time & miles,
growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them,
are carried on the wings of destiny and placed among us
by God’s very own hands.
— Kristi Larson

God can change our hearts instantly, radically different, to show us his heart and to direct our lives. I know without a doubt, that he is the one orchestrating all this change in me and my heart. I also know that it was very evident that he was doing things to me, changing me. Never would I say that I would want another child, I thought that our family was complete. That to have children in our home again, they would be our grandchildren.

Well, never say never. When God wants you to step out, he will do the work, he will be the one in charge. My husband and I have prayer to be changed, well God answers prayers. It was hard coming back home, even though after two weeks, I was missing my family very much.

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will.  Ephesians 1:4,5

 

More to come later!