Little Feet’s Blog

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Pequenopie “Little Feet” August 23, 2009

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sharon2This is a recent picture of our little Sharon that we love in China. We hope and pray for her everyday, for her health and to find a family to adopt her. A family that will give her a belonging , give her love and security, give her a chance in life.  Even though it breaks my heart to see her growing up and not being able to be with her, I know that God put her in my life for a reason. Maybe for her not to be ours, but to start something in my heart and soul, to always pray for her and remember her.  We will always remember her as the catalyst, to this journey we are on.

Last time I posted, I wrote on how God kept showing me other orphans around the world. How at first my heart was only for Sharon and the other Phillip Hayden children and how eventually it changed to a child in China. But he kept changing our direction and hearts, to other countries and ethnicity’s. During this time, I had many people say why don’t you adopt from here and I just thought God was showing us another direction. Well finally, he has our heart at home, in our own backyard, there are thousands of children that are orphans.

We are starting our foster pride classes in September to become licensed foster care  parents in Michigan. We are really excited and are happy that he continues to show us his way for us. His path, his timing, his way. He has this way of closing some doors and opening others and it’s so awesome to look back and see things that are happening to make this happen in our lives, in this way.

Even the simplest things, our oldest daughter is getting married in 6 days. We knew when I came back from China and decided to adopt, we would have to wait at least a few years. So with our 3 daughters living with us, we knew we would have to move one of them in the basement or get some bunk beds. Anyway, since then Beka got engaged so we knew we would be fine with room for a new child in a few years. Well, Dustin and Beka decided to get married this year and a  while after that we started looking into foster care.  We are thinking we may have a child in our home in 6 months or so. So there it is all worked out, we have the room.

So in his timing, and in his way, he makes all doors open and close, that he needs to. How great it is to know, that I don’t have to worry or stress. He has it all worked out for us, before we even see it. There is great comfort in that. With all the things that are wrong and scary in this world, I don’t need to be afraid. All the people that are suffering, from losing their jobs, homes, sickness, death, that he knows all things. That even when you can’t see it, and you don’t understand or contemplate what God is doing, he knows and maybe wants to make it better for you. Once you are there, you look back asking what was I afraid of, I knew he was guiding my steps the whole time but I just don’t always know how to let go and trust him.

It reminds me of this poem..

Footprints in the sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord, “You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But i have  noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there have only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you the most, you have not been there for me?”

The Lord replied, “The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand, is when I carried you.”

by, Mary Stevenson

 

We ask for your continued prayers that God would continue to show us the direction to our child.

 

More to come later!

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” July 19, 2009

baby feet 12

I had a talk with my sister about some of the frustrations that I am encountering. With the wait and needing to come up with so much money for the cost and fees of adoption. I am also having a hard time with seeing those around me that are in the process of adoption, getting their children or almost. Even though some of them have waited years and years, and may have no other children. I can see how those women who are going through infertility, see babies everywhere. How so many every day things are directed towards children and family. Commercials, movies, shows, babies everywhere at stores and walking down the street. There is no where to hide from these feelings.

In this discussion and thinking how I feel about things, she talked about a monopoly game. Sitting in jail watching others keep on playing and you are just stuck. I thought of uno and getting the skipped and reversed card. You are ready but you have no control, you keep watching and waiting for your turn. Debbie mentioned it’s sorta like one step forward, two steps back. This happens in so much of life but I think it is a accurate explanation of how I feel.

I have been looking into selling things on our blog to help support us. I was so excited earlier this week, that I was approved to sell handmade bracelets that were made from the people in Philippines. I also put a donate button on this blog to allow people to help us, to partner with this journey. But then it can look so insurmountable and too hard to achieve.

I will continue to try and have faith. That God put this desire in our hearts and soul. I might not know or see how this is all going to work out, but it sure will be amazing.

Thanks for everyones support and prayers. I will put the bracelets on soon, so everyone can see them.

More to come Later!

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” July 15, 2009

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I have been doing a lot of surfing and checking out other adoption blogs and adoption forums. It is really interesting and exciting to see so many people in the same situation that we are and some that are further along or have their awaited child already. I found a forum that an adoptive family posted a discussion on international adoption. It was really good to see many peoples ideas and some that weren’t very positive.

This family had a family member that was trying to support them and at the same time asking why they didn’t choose to adopt from the US or foster adopt. There were many people that seemed angry and vocal about their feelings. 

What I found is there are many people that want to foster and hope to be able to adopt that child. Also that Adoption in the US is very difficult. I know a friend of the family just adopted and my sister also and had everything run quickly and with no problems. Checking out this blog ,many people found that they were willing to adopt children with minor disabilities and most of the time, they waited years with no child.

Sometimes it sound like if the social worker wants a child to stay in a certain state they can decide, that you won’t be able to adopt that child. I also heard of families wanting to adopt a older child and that child being fostered to another family and then let out of the system when they were 19 and never being adopted.

I think there are issues in the foster care system and the adoption system. Things that don’t seem right to the children in question and the families willing to love them and keep them. Is it better to have a system that has flaws and issues then no system? I think not. I wish the adoption system would just make sure a family qualifies to be a safe home and would take much of the expense out of it. Also the time these families have to wait and the children.

I don’t think it is fair for people to judge others decisions. We thought of fostering at some point and didn’t feel like it was right for us. I don’t know if I would handle the child possibly being a part of your family for a short time and then gone, out of you life. We also thought of our children, how would that affect them. I think there are some amazing people out there that God has gifted with this ability to love a child and let them go.

We also feel like God birthed something in our heart for the children in orphanages that hardly have enough food every day. That have no heat, no water, no chance. Even though it may be more money to adopt from another country, these children need to be adopted. They have no chance without loving parents taking them home.

I thank the Lord that he puts people out there to adopt from the US and from other countries. That there are also people that open their hearts and homes to foster children also. We need all of them to do what they are called too. I hope people can get past judging and just do what is right for them.

 

Total Adoptions to the United States

*NOTE:  All statistics given correspond with the U.S. Government fiscal year, which begins on October 1 and ends on September 30.  For example:  Adoption statistics for 2008 = Number of adoptions from October 1, 2007 through September 30, 2008. 

Fiscal Year 2008 Adoption Statistics

 

  FY 2008 FY 2007 FY 2006 FY 2005 FY 2004
1 Guatemala4,123 China5,453 China6,493 China7,906 China7,044
2 China3,909 Guatemala4,728 Guatemala4,135 Russia4,639 Russia5,865
3 Russia1,861 Russia2,310 Russia3,706 Guatemala3,783 Guatemala3,264
4 Ethiopia1,725 Ethiopia1,255 South Korea1,376 South Korea1,630 South Korea1,716
5 South Korea1,065 South Korea939 Ethiopia732 Ukraine821 Kazakhstan826
6 Vietnam751 Vietnam828 Kazakhstan587 Kazakhstan755 Ukraine723
7 Ukraine457 Ukraine606 Ukraine460 Ethiopia441 India406
8 Kazakhstan380 Kazakhstan540 Liberia353 India323 Haiti356
9 India307 India416 Colombia344 Colombia291 Ethiopia289
10 Colombia306 Liberia314 India320 Philippines271 Colombia287
11 Haiti302 Colombia310 Haiti309 Haiti234 Belarus202
12 Philippines291 Philippines265 Philippines245 Liberia183 Philippines196
13 Taiwan267 Haiti190 Taiwan187 Taiwan141 Bulgaria110
14 Liberia249 Taiwan184 Vietnam163 Mexico88 Poland102
15 Nigeria148 Mexico89 Mexico70 Poland73 Mexico89
16 Mexico103 Poland84 Poland67 Thailand72 Liberia86
17 Ghana101 Thailand67 Brazil66 Brazil66 Nepal73
18 Kyrgyzstan78 Kyrgyzstan61 Nepal66 Nigeria65 Nigeria71
19 Poland77 Brazil55 Nigeria62 Jamaica63 Brazil69
20 Thailand59 Uganda54 Thailand56 Nepal62 Thailand69

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I pray the you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints,to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Eph 3:17-19

More to come later!

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” May 27, 2009

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I tiptoed into your room one night.
I watched you sleeping there.
Your tiny body looked so snug
Wrapped in peaceful slumber’s care.

I thought of how you came to be
The child we’d longed to know.
I wondered at the sight of you:
“How could she let you go?”

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I
Felt the pain she must have known.
For I will have to let you go
Some day when you are grown.

A mother I might never meet
Had given me her son.
Yet, surely as you’ve filled my heart,
A piece of hers you’d won.

“How could she let you go?”
The question kept returning.
And in the depths of my own heart.
A question kept on burning.

“How can I ever let you go
When years have come and gone?”
I stood there by your crib until
The nighttime turned to dawn.

And as the sun peeked through the shades,
The voice of God broke through.
“I trusted her to give him life
And now I’m trusting to you.

“To show him what is right and wrong,
to love him and to be
The one who teaches him the way
To come back home to me.

“He wasn’t hers to give, you know.
And he’s not yours to own.
I’ve placed him in your life to love
But he is mine … on loan.”

by Valerie Kay Gwin

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” May 9, 2009

mom1

It’s Mother’s Day weekend and in the United States we celebrate this special day and give tribute and honor to our Mother’s. I was surprised and didn’t realize that this great day was started in 1870 and a lady named Julia Ward Howe wrote a poem called Mother’s Day Proclamation of 1870. It was a call for disarmament and for women to come together to seek diplomatic ways to settle disagreements among Nations.

As I found this awesome picture of a Mother in Thailand I see other things. In Mother’s all over the world I see strength, love, truth, honor, integrity, and kindness. There are so many things to say about our Mother’s. They take on so much, they have to put others before themselves, there will be heartache. There is so much to prepare a child to walk into their own lives dependent of their moms. They get very little sleep when their child is a baby, they rock and cuddle that baby. I remember being in the Hospital after having Beka, my first child and hardly being with her and when the nurses were bringing all the babies to the mommies, and recognizing her cry. I knew that was her and it was, that God has given us a miracle to be a mom.

I also think of the millions of mom’s who can’t have their own children, from their own bodies. But if you see a Mother who has adopted a child, you would have no idea that, that child didn’t come from her body. My sister shows that clear as day, her little boy and her are Mother and son. That’s it, no difference between her daughter, that did come from her. They are both her children, that she loves with all her heart, body and soul. That she will worry about, have joy, concern and so much more.

No matter what country you live in, no matter what conditions you live in, Mothers are all the same. 

They love without expectation, without expecting anything back.

A friend in China that has been going through the adoption process for 4 1/2 years, just sent a letter,  telling everyone that by Fall she will be a Mother. What an awesome Mother’s Day gift for this year. After all her patience, tears, waiting, joy and hope she will be a Mother soon. The wait is almost over.

On this Mother’s Day, I hope and pray that the child our family wants to adopt, will not take too long to come to us. I hope and pray that maybe by the next Mother’s Day of 2010 we will be that much closer to bringing our child home. That once that child is put in my arms, the difference of my children and this new child will melt away. I pray for patience, for joy and peace through this whole thing. That we would trust in our Lord with all our heart and mind. That when it seems too difficult, too expensive, to hard, we would continue to look at what God has planted in our lives. That he is enough, he will do what he wishes.. That I can lean on him for my strength, my joy and my peace.

Ask and it will be give to you, seek and you will find,

knock and the door will be opened to you.

For everyone who asks will receives, he who seeks finds,

and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Matthew 7:7-8

So our family will continue to ask, seek and knock and wait on his timing, and will.

More to come later  and have a Happy Mother’s Day!

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” May 7, 2009

nepal-fb1 Lately I have been  having times of  doubt and really not having as much patience as I should have. I have looked at how much money we are going to need for this adoption and it feels so overwhelming. I realize that this economy is not good, people are loosing jobs and their houses right and left. I also know that Michael and I can’t do this on our own, that we need support. 

I feel so ready to get this process going, it’s been 6 long months since I got home from China. If feels like 6 years or a lifetime. When you are ready for this, it’s all you can think about. Sometimes I have such a huge amount of faith and all around me I see this is possible, that God will do this for us. But other times I have doubt and fear and questions. I know God has put this in my heart and I know it is true. I feel the same as I did 6 months ago and if anything I feel stronger about it.

 

I know it is going to be hard, difficult and life changing. Bringing any child into your world is earth shattering. I remember being a new mom of Beka and only being 22, not knowing who this child was. I knew she was ours, I loved  her already. But no one gives you a pamphlet with instructions on how to be a good mommy or daddy. You are on your own, you are blending two sets of ideas into one. I am thankful that Michael and I have always supported each other in this life and journey.

I have to remember that even though I’m not pregnant, this is our pregnacy, to prepare and enjoy this time. To trust God that he will move heaven and earth to make what he wants happen. That by ourselves nothing can happen without him. To just have faith in him, he has worked out everything so far. Why would I stop trusting him now. The Finish Line is before us and we just need to pace ourselves to reach it, in his time and way.

 

 

A child to pour our love on…We have that to give.    

 

 

Pour My Love On You                                                    

 

I don’t know how to say exactly how I feel
And I can’t begin to tell you what your love has meant
I’m lost for words
Is there a way to show the passion in my heart
Can I express how truly great I think you are
You’re my dearest friend

Lord this is my desire to pour my love on you    

        CHORUS:
Like oil upon your feet
Like wine for you to drink
Life water from my heart
I pour my love on you
With praises like the perfume
I lavish mine on you
Till every drop is gone
I pour my love on you 

 Is there a way to show the passion in my heart
Can I express how truly great I think you are,
My dearest friend 

Lord this is my desire to pour my love on you

CHORUS

By Phillips , Craig and Dean

 

 I am writing this blog to thank all my numerous friends and family, who encourage me and tell me to take tiny steps like my blog, that God will give us provision, that God is making us wait for the child God wants for us and all the prayers that so many are sending our way.. Thank You….

 

More to come later!

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” April 26, 2009

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pic221This is a little boy or girl in Nepal who is a orphan now or at one time. Our family is excited and ready to start this difficult journey on to adopting and fulfilling the things that God wants in our lives.

We are at the very begining of the process and we are inviting friends and family to partner with us on this great journey. Please stay tune for further information.

More to come later!