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Pequenopie “Little Feet” May 17, 2009

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baby feet 9

I’ve been struck with the many changes our family has encountered within the last six months. God has done so many changes in us and growth, that I look back and am shocked to see it. At the same time, we have so much freedom. We are enjoying these days we spend with our children. With our oldest it is twinkling of the eye, since she is getting married next year.  With our middle child it is precious moments , pretty soon she will be going to college, working and spending time out of our house. With our youngest we still have some time to make up. We were so busy and consumed with our ministry work, neglecting what we had at home. Even our extended families and our quiet time. It wasn’t until our girls sat us down, that we really took a hard look at our lives and said what the heck are we doing.

Since that we have realized that above else family should come first. Our girls come first, spending time with them, talking to them, just watching a movie with them. Laughing, crying, praying, life as God wanted it. He made families to be together, to break bread together. How sometimes we can put our jobs, our ministries, our everything above our family.

To have my sister tell me I’m glad you are back, that hurts. I promise myself, my family, God and those around me that I will never let this happen again. Taking that hard look, put everything in perspective. When I came back from China this last time,I knew something wasn’t right with our lives. I saw how stressed my husband was working a full-time job and then rushing off after a quick dinner. To have the time to have a nice dinner every night is so amazing, to sit and read a book, or watch a movie, together.

Obviously when we were in the thick of things we couldn’t see it. But when I came back from China I knew that our lives would have to change, how could we adopt a baby and be out almost every night. Not going to happen and not fair to our youngest to babysit every night.

Since getting a baby kitten I remember so much of what it takes to be a new mother and father again. Constantly having patience, correcting  that child. Our girls were into everything, your eyes always had to be on them. Touching things, putting things into their mouth, and a constant stream of No’s.. 

Teaching them manners, how to swim, how to ride a bike, everything. They learn everything from us. Keeping them safe, out of the street, teaching them rules, don’t touch that, don’t open that. Right now with our teens we are teaching them still, how to be young women, who will one day be wifes and mothers themselves. It is a big job but that is the duty we are entrusted with.

So while we continue on the passage, we will continue to enjoy everyday we have with our family and friends. We will continue to wait for this child that God has implanted on our hearts. This child that is so wanted and loved, even now.

Healing does not mean going back to the way things were before,
but rather allowing what is now to move us closer to God
— Ram Dass

Leave comments or scripture, would love to hear from you!

More to come later!

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Pequenopie “Little Feet” May 9, 2009

mom1

It’s Mother’s Day weekend and in the United States we celebrate this special day and give tribute and honor to our Mother’s. I was surprised and didn’t realize that this great day was started in 1870 and a lady named Julia Ward Howe wrote a poem called Mother’s Day Proclamation of 1870. It was a call for disarmament and for women to come together to seek diplomatic ways to settle disagreements among Nations.

As I found this awesome picture of a Mother in Thailand I see other things. In Mother’s all over the world I see strength, love, truth, honor, integrity, and kindness. There are so many things to say about our Mother’s. They take on so much, they have to put others before themselves, there will be heartache. There is so much to prepare a child to walk into their own lives dependent of their moms. They get very little sleep when their child is a baby, they rock and cuddle that baby. I remember being in the Hospital after having Beka, my first child and hardly being with her and when the nurses were bringing all the babies to the mommies, and recognizing her cry. I knew that was her and it was, that God has given us a miracle to be a mom.

I also think of the millions of mom’s who can’t have their own children, from their own bodies. But if you see a Mother who has adopted a child, you would have no idea that, that child didn’t come from her body. My sister shows that clear as day, her little boy and her are Mother and son. That’s it, no difference between her daughter, that did come from her. They are both her children, that she loves with all her heart, body and soul. That she will worry about, have joy, concern and so much more.

No matter what country you live in, no matter what conditions you live in, Mothers are all the same. 

They love without expectation, without expecting anything back.

A friend in China that has been going through the adoption process for 4 1/2 years, just sent a letter,  telling everyone that by Fall she will be a Mother. What an awesome Mother’s Day gift for this year. After all her patience, tears, waiting, joy and hope she will be a Mother soon. The wait is almost over.

On this Mother’s Day, I hope and pray that the child our family wants to adopt, will not take too long to come to us. I hope and pray that maybe by the next Mother’s Day of 2010 we will be that much closer to bringing our child home. That once that child is put in my arms, the difference of my children and this new child will melt away. I pray for patience, for joy and peace through this whole thing. That we would trust in our Lord with all our heart and mind. That when it seems too difficult, too expensive, to hard, we would continue to look at what God has planted in our lives. That he is enough, he will do what he wishes.. That I can lean on him for my strength, my joy and my peace.

Ask and it will be give to you, seek and you will find,

knock and the door will be opened to you.

For everyone who asks will receives, he who seeks finds,

and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Matthew 7:7-8

So our family will continue to ask, seek and knock and wait on his timing, and will.

More to come later  and have a Happy Mother’s Day!

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” May 7, 2009

nepal-fb1 Lately I have been  having times of  doubt and really not having as much patience as I should have. I have looked at how much money we are going to need for this adoption and it feels so overwhelming. I realize that this economy is not good, people are loosing jobs and their houses right and left. I also know that Michael and I can’t do this on our own, that we need support. 

I feel so ready to get this process going, it’s been 6 long months since I got home from China. If feels like 6 years or a lifetime. When you are ready for this, it’s all you can think about. Sometimes I have such a huge amount of faith and all around me I see this is possible, that God will do this for us. But other times I have doubt and fear and questions. I know God has put this in my heart and I know it is true. I feel the same as I did 6 months ago and if anything I feel stronger about it.

 

I know it is going to be hard, difficult and life changing. Bringing any child into your world is earth shattering. I remember being a new mom of Beka and only being 22, not knowing who this child was. I knew she was ours, I loved  her already. But no one gives you a pamphlet with instructions on how to be a good mommy or daddy. You are on your own, you are blending two sets of ideas into one. I am thankful that Michael and I have always supported each other in this life and journey.

I have to remember that even though I’m not pregnant, this is our pregnacy, to prepare and enjoy this time. To trust God that he will move heaven and earth to make what he wants happen. That by ourselves nothing can happen without him. To just have faith in him, he has worked out everything so far. Why would I stop trusting him now. The Finish Line is before us and we just need to pace ourselves to reach it, in his time and way.

 

 

A child to pour our love on…We have that to give.    

 

 

Pour My Love On You                                                    

 

I don’t know how to say exactly how I feel
And I can’t begin to tell you what your love has meant
I’m lost for words
Is there a way to show the passion in my heart
Can I express how truly great I think you are
You’re my dearest friend

Lord this is my desire to pour my love on you    

        CHORUS:
Like oil upon your feet
Like wine for you to drink
Life water from my heart
I pour my love on you
With praises like the perfume
I lavish mine on you
Till every drop is gone
I pour my love on you 

 Is there a way to show the passion in my heart
Can I express how truly great I think you are,
My dearest friend 

Lord this is my desire to pour my love on you

CHORUS

By Phillips , Craig and Dean

 

 I am writing this blog to thank all my numerous friends and family, who encourage me and tell me to take tiny steps like my blog, that God will give us provision, that God is making us wait for the child God wants for us and all the prayers that so many are sending our way.. Thank You….

 

More to come later!