Lately we have had some major changes in our lives, that’s why it’s been quiet lately on this blog. Our oldest daughter Beka, has left her husband and wants to end her marriage. We have been very supportive of her decision and have enjoyed all the added time we have with her. At the same time we had to go through our own feelings about all this, loosing a son in-law and not wishing this on any of your children. A divorce at so young of an age but so thankful that they are both young and had no children.
At the same time she has come back into the family again, we have experienced another loss. I won’t get into it right now, but it rocked our core. When something happens like what we experienced it makes you look around, I found myself asking what did I do wrong, why didn’t I see this? After much agonizing we have come to the conclusion that there was nothing that any of us did wrong, it was not our decision. There are so many feelings, anger, sadness, guilt, unbelief. I only could rely on God, family and close friends, to be where I am now. We are living, laughing, enjoying life; which is so bizarre but life goes on. I have to go on not only for myself, but also my husband and children. In the midst of grief, there is joy, pure joy.
When a family has a death, life goes on. When people are sick, hungry, losing jobs or houses, life goes on. Abby still gets up every morning, needing to be fed, needing her mommy. She needs to be on her regular schedule, we have talked about how much she has helped. Not that God, family, friends, and my own children and husband haven’t been my support, but there is something about a baby being totally dependent on me. We will get through this and even though it’s hard right now, I know we will be stronger in the end.
We have also decided that in the near future, when the agency calls, we will still bring an orphan in our home. My heart and soul is for these children, we have dreams, and this won’t stop our life from going on and fulfilling those desires. Seeing how much joy and love we have lathered on Abby and her on us, what better thing to do. To save another, to be a safe resting place.
“Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song.” Psalm 95:1-2
More to come!