Easter Sunday, of course is very important to me, because of what it represents. It also is a reminder to me, of the changes in our lives. A few years back, when I knew I would be going to China, my passport came on Easter. It just felt like God was saying, yes this is what I wanted you to do and then to look back at what ended up happening, is just so awesome and wonderful We had an interesting Easter morning, mommy made the mistake of waking Abby up for church. When we got into church, we lasted about two songs and it was time to go home. The music was pretty loud and with us all jammed in and feeling really warm, Abby started knocking my glasses off and was not a happy girl, which upset the mommy too. One lesson learned, do not wake baby up. Anyway, the rest of the day was very nice, going to Aunt Carols, and seeing everyone.
This past week, I planned on putting Abby into a daycare place, just once or twice a month. I had it all worked out and the evening before, I just didn’t feel right about it and decided to cancel. I think it is important for Abby to be around other children her age but this was not the answer. Taking foster classes, Michael and I both remembered how sometimes these children feel loss. She was taken away from her birth mother, and then for a short time she was just with Tiffany and then we started taking her and she went back and forth. I just couldn’t drop her off with these strange ladies and make her wonder where her mommy was. I also know, that Abby is so attached to me, and was feeling uncomfortable that if she had a difficult time, that for one thing I would be about an hour away and Michael had a work meeting.
I just know this isn’t right for us, I also am not saying anything is wrong with parents that put their children in daycare. Both of my sisters work and their children have been put in daycare. Millions of moms work everyday and there are loving places to take care of your children. My good friend Sharon babysits her grandchildren, so there are lots of ways for moms to work. With myself, I don’t work, other than taking care of my hubby, kids and Abby and everything else, which is a job in itself. I have always said to my sisters and friends who work, I don’t know how they do it. Working or being a stay at home mom, are both work, just different.
I have been so blessed to be able to afford to stay at home with my children but of course there are sacrifices. It took us longer to move out of our older, smaller home and into the one we are in now. When I look back at all of it, I know we did the right thing for us. These days more moms are working, because of the economy and how expensive everything is. Plus I’m sure many of them love their careers and possibly would go stir crazy being home. There are positive and negatives in both, that’s what I think and you just have to know what is right for you. Once Lizzy was in school, I became a lunch lady at her school, I only worked a few hours a day and was home when everyone came home. It was nice getting a little money and being around adults and my girls loved seeing me at school.
Needless to say, Abby will not be going to this daycare. She does see her sister Gabby and also Madison, we just need to get them together more often. She also every Sunday goes to church with me and as soon as the music ends, daddy takes her where the nursery kids are. We stay out with her and play with her and watch her play with the other children, she loves it. But we are with her, not leaving her with people she doesn’t know. I think it was easier when Beka, Aubrey and Lizzy were little because both of our parents watched them once in a while for us. Once our parents moved away, we knew a neighbor girl, that the girls felt comfortable with. Soon enough she will be a bigger girl and she will go to school, so right now mom will just have to sacrifice and rely on Abby’s sisters. Aubrey and her boyfriend Derek babysat Abby for us this weekend and it was so great to go out and have a nice time. It was so weird to not have Abby with me, this tells me mommy needs more, mommy time without Abby.
“For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.” 1 Peter 1:18-19
More to come later!