Today I went to church, it’s been quite a while, since Aubrey’s work schedule and so many bad nights with Abby. I think also I was working some stuff out in my mind also. Some hurt that I needed to work through. I had listened to our Pastor on-line speak about healing and was encouraged to let by gones, be by gones. To pull up my big girl pants and move on, to where God is leading me. To let go of the past, forgive and forget, to know that God is leading us down this path. The band played Everything, it was so moving, full of freedom.
And how can I stand here with You
And not be moved by You
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this
Our Pastor preached on 1 Corinthians 12, about the gifts of the body. He also asked us to seek God on what those gifts may be. I know for a fact that God has moved me into having a passion for these lost orphans, the abused children, needing a safe place to rest. I know that whether we foster in the future or not, I have a purpose. To show others the love they can give, to prove through my actions, how a mother’s love is so pure. That if they are going through infertility or have their children already, that they have more love to give and how it can happen.
Abby is almost 18 mos old, I can’t believe how much she has grown. She is a happy, spunky little thing, keeps us hopping to keep up with her. We can’t imagine our lives with out her, she is just like our other girls, ingrained in our hearts, mind and home. She loves to hear music and dance, she does the cutest little bootie moves. She grabs our finger and runs us here and there. When she does something naughty, like grabbing my glasses or something like that, she gives us the sweetest smile, with her big white teeth, that your heart melts.
I was looking in my toddler book for discipline techniques for Abby and read this really cute snapshot of a 18 mos old. It says “An 18-month-old child resembles a bull in a china shop. And you will get your share of exercise in the name of damage control. He will continually test your patience as he demands more autonomy.” This made Michael and I both laugh, because it is a very clear picture of our little Abby.
At the same time, she is the sweetest little baby. She will just come up to you and give you a kiss or lay her head on you. Abby loves to laugh and her laugh is very deep and comes from her belly. She loves getting her teeth brushed and puts her hand in her mouth and mimics it all the time. Such joy!
“My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.” Psalm 62:7
More to come later!