Today we had to run over to the agency and sign our paperwork again. We were starting to feel like we were receiving the run around or some lies. We went to the agency upset and worried. Thankfully during our time there, God made some awesome things happen. We saw proof that the state sent back our paperwork, for one little box not checked for Aubreys’ marital status. So now we felt better about things. Then Brandan started talking about how upset he was that they sent our paperwork back, instead of just calling him directly. He continued to say that we have a baby to get settled in your house, which started the tears.
Tears are the safety valve of the heart when too much pressure is laid on it. ~Albert Smith
He then showed his heart, here I had started thinking he doesn’t care about us or what is best for little Abby. He went on to tell us she will be ours, that it’s so great to keep these two little sisters together. Everything that we have been feeling all along. To get confirmation from him was icing on the cake. I was able to show my feelings and heart to him also, a mother’s love for a precious little girl. I really don’t feel a difference between the love I feel for the girls I bore and Abby. She did not grow in my body or hear my heart beat. I did not gain weight and carry her for nine months. My feelings of love and being her mom, are just as strong. It’s so amazing how God makes us, our emotions and our ability to love without question.
It sounds like we will receive our foster care license by the middle of March, so just a few weeks more. We also will continue to have little Abby with us this next week. I am hoping and praying that we receive a call and little Abby will be home with us from now on. We will continue to trust in him and rely on him.
My sister sent me these lyrics and it reminded us both of some of the struggles we endure with our daughters. My sister commented also on our family starting all over again too.
Sweet Angel of mine
AS YOU LAY SLEEPING ON MY CHEST
A MILLION THOUGHTS RUN THROUGH MY HEAD
SOMEDAY YOU’LL THINK THAT YOU’RE TOO BIG TO HOLD
YOU’LL SPILL MILK ON MY FAVORITE DRESS
FALL DOWN AND SCARE ME TO DEATH
AND YOU’LL REFUSE TO DO ANYTHING YOU’RE TOLD
AND I’LL BE SO MAD THAT I’M ALMOST IN TEARS
AND YOU’LL SMILE THAT SMILE AND THEY’LL ALL DISAPPEAR
YES SOMETIMES YOU’LL HIDE YOUR PERFECT WINGS
BUT THROUGH THESE EYES ALL I’LL EVER SEE
IS THAT SWEET ANGEL OF MINE
I WON’T BE READY FOR FIRST GRADE
OR WHEN YOU GO ON YOUR FIRST DATE
AND YOU’LL THINK THAT I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND
AND I KNOW THAT THERE’LL COME A DAY
WHEN YOU START TO PUSH ME AWAY
AND I’LL FEEL LIKE I’M LOSING MY BEST FRIEND
SO WHEN YOU WANT TO BE OUT ON YOUR OWN
FORGIVE ME IF I FIND IT HARD TO LET GO
YEAH SOMEDAY YOU’LL SPREAD YOUR PERFECT WINGS
BUT NO MATTER WHERE YOU FLY YOU’LL ALWAYS BE
THAT SWEET ANGEL OF MINE
AND I KNOW I’LL CRY ON YOUR WEDDING DAY
AS I WATCH YOUR FATHER GIVE YOU AWAY
AND I’LL BOW MY HEAD, PRAY YOU FIND ALL YOUR DREAMS
AND THANK GOD FOR EVERY DAY HE’S GIVEN ME
THAT SWEET ANGEL OF MINE