A year ago today, I was in China loving this little baby Sharon. I had gotten a really bad cold while I was there and it was one of our last days to see the children. I wasn’t able to see Sharon anymore since I didn’t want her and other children, to get my cold. She was in the hospital at Shepards’ Field, and there were some children that had very serious health conditions. So I was able to hang out with and enjoy some of the older children, that were more healthy.
I remember how bad I felt with this cold and how I had prayed for God to protect my heart, and I think he helped out in that part of it. Even then I was knowing we were leaving soon and ready to go home and be with my family but also knowing how hard it would be. To leave these amazing children and maybe knowing I would never hold or see little Sharon again. Even then every one on my team and other teams around us, saw my heart when it came to how I felt about Sharon. I think we all had our favorites but something was different for me.
I knew God was showing me a love for these orphans and how our family could love one of these.
We had a very interesting call this week, from our friend Tiffany, who is a foster adoption mom that is on her way to adopting her daughter. She had called me in August to tell me her daughter’s birth mom was pregnant, and then talked about maybe this little child coming into our home. I didn’t really give it much thought, because Tiffany isn’t in charge of where the kids go. Anyway, this call from her this week was that the birth mother had another girl and that Tiffany is foster caring her. Also that she talked to the guy who’s in charge of where the children go and mentioned us and he remembered us and liked us. The most important part is that Tiffany told him about keeping this new baby in the family. Meaning our family. Tiffany hopes to foster care this new baby until we get our license and then we could get her. The guy told Tiffany that he is willing to work with us. How amazing to think we could both have children in our home that are sisters, that we could keep them in contact with each other. Raising these two sisters together.
Of course part of me is shouting from the mountain tops, so excited and can’t wait to see this little one. But the other part of me, wants to protect my heart and wants to talk to the agency and get confirmation that yes this is their wishes also. It’s so funny cause the rational part of me is watching the excited, jumping out of her skin, ready to be a new mommy. I have been giving myself permission to be happy and silly about it. I went to target this week after hearing about this little one and it was really hard to not buy stuff for the baby. I saw the cutest Christmas hats and had to make myself walk away.
We had friends over last night and when he brought up the baby, Dennis said gosh you have a look on your face. I think this is the mommy face, the face that I had when I came home from China and was trying to give Michael space and time. To not demand that we adopt, but giving him time to have God show him. To also give myself time to really make sure, I was sure. After a year of this, I am sure. Day by day I am more sure, ready and willing.
I also know that God does things, changes us in a moment. He can do anything he wants and performs miracles everyday. When I look back at how my sister and her son Matthew became hers , it was a miracle, a total God thing. My daughter was friends with a little girl in preschool and if I hadn’t talked about my sister and some things she went through, with a friend of this mother, than who knows what would have happened. I don’t even know why this conversation happened, all I can say is it was amazing and I will never forget how he can make things work out.
We ask all of our family and friends to come along beside us with your prayers. That whether it is this child or another, we will pray for this little one and all the other little ones, that need families. I will continue to love baby Sharon with a mothers love, for her to find a family that can give her everything. I will continue to pray for her and have hope for our little one, wherever she is, for us to pour our love on.
Pour my love on you, by Phillips Craig and Dean
Like oil upon your feet
Like wine for you to drink
Life water from my heart
I pour my love on you
With praises like the perfume
I lavish mine on you
Till every drop is gone
I pour my love on you
Is there a way to show the passion in my heart
Can I express how truly great I think you are,
My dearest friend
Lord this is my desire to pour my love on you
More to come later!