This weekend was the big day that we have been waiting for and planning for, for a few months. But when I really think about it we have been waiting for this wedding for Beka’s whole life. When you have a child, you think of them finding someone to love and spending their life with them. Sharing the good times and the bad, having children and grandchildren and the many things that we experience in a lifetime. Sharing dreams, worries, grief, a life full of so many things.
My husband and I were talking after the wedding, and it brought up all the firsts you have with your children. When they are born there is so much joy and a blank slate. There are so many milestones, that parents can hardly wait for. I remember with our girls waiting for them to crawl and then waiting to see when they would walk. Thinking back to just enjoying them where they were instead of waiting for the next step. Then parents can hardly wait till they hear their childs first words.
I remember being so happy that Beka was going to go to preschool for a few hours each day, partly because it would be good for her and partly because I had another baby at home by then. Then before we know it our baby is in school all day, but we are ready for that. Then there are first dates, first dance, graduation, college and first time being in love. This all takes many stages and time, we get used to a new season and before we know it our children are on to the next.
Any parent right now, I would just tell them to cherish every moment, since before you know it you are watching them grow up to make their own decisions. Next thing you know you are watching your husband walking your baby girl, your precious first child, on his arm, down the aisle to her waiting husband to be. Looking at her no longer as a little girl, no longer as a teenager but as a young woman, ready to start her life with her husband. For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. My feelings are all over the place, even though I knew she was getting married, even though we are happy for her. We are still her parents but we are not her everything.
We used to be her everything. In first grade Mrs. Dates told her that she needed to draw and write more, about other things and not just mom and dad. A family is your everything, I remember hearing this and thinking isn’t that what you would want for your child. Another teacher in 3rd grade couldn’t believe a teacher would feel that way.
1. parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not.
2. belonging to
3. a group of individuals related by blood, marriage or adoption
-descendants, offspring, generations, lineage, relatives, siblings, clan, alliance
So maybe things have changed and we are not Beka’s everything, but we are still part of her life. We are now family with her husband, we are a bigger unit than we were. Hopefully with wisdom and God showing us the way, we will learn how to treat each other. We we be a bigger and better family, we will be supportive and loving and we will share our lives with this new unit, this new couple on their way to a new life.
I wish my daughter Beka and Dustin my new son, all the happiness, joy and blessings life can bring to them.
Love you both!