Little Feet’s Blog

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Pequenopie “Little Feet” August 31, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — pequenopie @ 2:33 am

wedding pic

This weekend was the big day that we have been waiting for and planning for, for a few months. But when I really think about it we have been waiting for this wedding for Beka’s whole life. When you have a child, you think of them finding someone to love and spending their life with them. Sharing the good times and the bad, having children and grandchildren and the many things that we experience in a lifetime. Sharing dreams, worries, grief, a life full of so many things.

My husband and I were talking after the wedding, and it brought up all the firsts you have with your children. When they are born there is so much joy and a blank slate. There are so many milestones, that parents can hardly wait for. I remember with our girls waiting for them to crawl and then waiting to see when they would walk. Thinking back to just enjoying them where they were instead of waiting for the next step. Then parents can hardly wait till they hear their childs first words.

I remember being so happy that Beka was going to go to preschool for a few hours each day, partly because it would be good for her and partly because I had another baby at home by then. Then before we know it our baby is in school all day, but we are ready for that. Then there are first dates, first dance, graduation, college and first time being in love.  This all takes many stages and time, we get used to a new season and before we know it our children are on to the next.

Any parent right now, I would just tell them to cherish every moment, since before you know it you are watching them grow up to make their own decisions. Next thing you know you are watching your husband walking your baby girl, your precious first child, on his arm, down the aisle to her waiting husband to be. Looking at her no longer as a little girl, no longer as a teenager but as a young woman, ready to start her life with her husband. For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. My feelings are all over the place, even though I knew she was getting married, even though we are happy for her. We are still her parents but we are not her everything.

We used to be her everything. In first grade Mrs. Dates told her that she needed to draw and write more, about other things and not just mom and dad. A family is your everything, I remember hearing this and thinking isn’t that what you would want for your child. Another teacher in 3rd grade couldn’t believe a teacher would feel that way.

Family-

1. parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not.

2. belonging to

3. a group of individuals related by blood, marriage or adoption

-descendants, offspring, generations, lineage, relatives, siblings, clan, alliance

So maybe things have changed and we are not Beka’s everything, but we are still part of her life. We are now family with her husband, we are a bigger unit than we were. Hopefully with wisdom and God showing us the way, we will learn how to treat each other. We we be a bigger and better family, we will be supportive and loving and we will share our lives with this new unit, this new couple on their way to a new life.

 wed pic 2

I wish my daughter Beka and Dustin my new son, all the happiness, joy and blessings life can bring to them.

Love you both!

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Pequenopie “Little Feet” August 27, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — pequenopie @ 3:34 am

You’re a chosen child
You’re ours, but not by birth
But just the same, we feel
You’re the greatest child on earth

You’re a chosen child
Sent down from God above
Chosen to fill our home
With laughter and with love

You’re a chosen child
You’ve given us so much pleasure
Chosen above the rest
A precious, priceless treasure.
— Unknown

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” August 23, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — pequenopie @ 5:09 pm
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sharon2This is a recent picture of our little Sharon that we love in China. We hope and pray for her everyday, for her health and to find a family to adopt her. A family that will give her a belonging , give her love and security, give her a chance in life.  Even though it breaks my heart to see her growing up and not being able to be with her, I know that God put her in my life for a reason. Maybe for her not to be ours, but to start something in my heart and soul, to always pray for her and remember her.  We will always remember her as the catalyst, to this journey we are on.

Last time I posted, I wrote on how God kept showing me other orphans around the world. How at first my heart was only for Sharon and the other Phillip Hayden children and how eventually it changed to a child in China. But he kept changing our direction and hearts, to other countries and ethnicity’s. During this time, I had many people say why don’t you adopt from here and I just thought God was showing us another direction. Well finally, he has our heart at home, in our own backyard, there are thousands of children that are orphans.

We are starting our foster pride classes in September to become licensed foster care  parents in Michigan. We are really excited and are happy that he continues to show us his way for us. His path, his timing, his way. He has this way of closing some doors and opening others and it’s so awesome to look back and see things that are happening to make this happen in our lives, in this way.

Even the simplest things, our oldest daughter is getting married in 6 days. We knew when I came back from China and decided to adopt, we would have to wait at least a few years. So with our 3 daughters living with us, we knew we would have to move one of them in the basement or get some bunk beds. Anyway, since then Beka got engaged so we knew we would be fine with room for a new child in a few years. Well, Dustin and Beka decided to get married this year and a  while after that we started looking into foster care.  We are thinking we may have a child in our home in 6 months or so. So there it is all worked out, we have the room.

So in his timing, and in his way, he makes all doors open and close, that he needs to. How great it is to know, that I don’t have to worry or stress. He has it all worked out for us, before we even see it. There is great comfort in that. With all the things that are wrong and scary in this world, I don’t need to be afraid. All the people that are suffering, from losing their jobs, homes, sickness, death, that he knows all things. That even when you can’t see it, and you don’t understand or contemplate what God is doing, he knows and maybe wants to make it better for you. Once you are there, you look back asking what was I afraid of, I knew he was guiding my steps the whole time but I just don’t always know how to let go and trust him.

It reminds me of this poem..

Footprints in the sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord, “You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But i have  noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there have only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you the most, you have not been there for me?”

The Lord replied, “The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand, is when I carried you.”

by, Mary Stevenson

 

We ask for your continued prayers that God would continue to show us the direction to our child.

 

More to come later!

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” August 19, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — pequenopie @ 6:18 pm

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain.
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.

Emily Dickinson

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” August 15, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — pequenopie @ 4:15 pm

foster child 1

In two weeks my oldest daughter Rebekah, will be saying her vows and getting married. We are so excited and happy for her and Dustin. It is hard to see your baby move on and start her own life. It is a hard transition from being such an important part of your child’s life, to having that all change. We know our parents are still a part of our life but it changes, our spouse and children become our unit. This is only natural and the way God made it to be and intended.

Also we are continually waiting to adopt our 4th child. We are still waiting for the orientation packet from Catholic Social Services. This whole time has been a waiting game, waiting, waiting and more waiting. I pray every day for patience and for God’s timing but sometimes we don’t think that is quick enough. I think that is the way it goes with alot of things. Whether you are adopting, trying to get pregnant, looking for a job, waiting to buy a house. Many things in life we have to wait for God’s timing. I have peace with that, even though it is hard and I’m like hurry up.

All along a friend of ours has said to wait on him, that our child may not even be born. I take huge comfort in that, even though I check the mail every day, that it is in his great and good timing. His timing will bring the child he has choosen for us. With this upcoming marriage we know we will have room for another child. In the foster care system each child needs 40 square feet, of bedroom space. We also know that we could have a child in our house in 6 months or so.

I like to think and believe that there is a reason for this wait, to prepare yourself emotionally. To make sure your other children are ready for another child.  Also to really be sure that this is your hearts desire, not some fleeting thing. This is a commitment to a living person, not to a dog or cat, you can’t send a baby back because it doesn’t work. We also need to have some time to get things in order.

It was amazing to me, that two of my cousins, were adopted from the foster care system. I didn’t even know that. So that is about 7 children in mine and Michael’s  family that have been adopted. They are all loved and we don’t call them adopted children, just children. They are family whether they were adopted or not, they are loved and wanted. Just like if you had a step parent or child, you would love them like your own child. You would hug, kiss and discipline and do all those little things each parent does every day.

Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14

More to come later!

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” August 12, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — pequenopie @ 10:39 pm

Bertrand Russell:

Three passions have governed my life:
The longings for love, the search for knowledge,
And unbearable pity for the suffering of [humankind].

Love brings ecstasy and relieves loneliness.
In the union of love I have seen
In a mystic miniature the prefiguring vision
Of the heavens that saints and poets have imagined.

With equal passion I have sought knowledge.
I have wished to understand the hearts of [people].
I have wished to know why the stars shine.

Love and knowledge led upwards to the heavens,
But always pity brought me back to earth;
Cries of pain reverberated in my heart
Of children in famine, of victims tortured
And of old people left helpless.
I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot,
And I too suffer.

This has been my life; I found it worth living.

adapted

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” August 8, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — pequenopie @ 4:00 am

foster child

Nearly 40% of American adults, or 81.5 million people, have considered adopting a child.

 If  just one in 500 of these adults adopt, all of the 134,000 children in foster care, waiting for adoption would have permanent, loving families.

Each year, over 20,000 young people “age out” of the U.S.  foster care system.

Approximately half a million  U.S. children live in state-supervised care at any given time, after being removed from their home for neglect or abuse.

 

 Religion that God our father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress.   James 1:27

 

In this passage we are following, we are asking for God to show us the way. We are in constant prayer for his direction to show us the orphans and the lost and hurting of this world. This path has lead through many windey, narrow and hard to see trails. Over streams and high currents, that we just had to hold on to see if we could eventually cross the water. We have gone up and down and been all turned around but God has shown his way and his light, through all of it.

Through difficult times and happy times, we always see the end, of righting a wrong in a child’s life. At first when I came back from China, after holding those precious babes, I couldn’t imagine adopting a baby that didn’t look like my sweet girl Sharon or Tristin. To actually hold them and feel this yearning in my heart and soul. I saw no other ethnicty or color or country. My heart was drawn and always will be to China. But we realized that we were shown another country, that needs loving families, Nepal. When I realized that the child would look like a Chinese baby, I said I can deal with that. An orphan is an orphan.

Then once again, God was changing and challenging us, to show us kids in Ghana. Seeing pictures of very dark African children. I realized that our daughter or son, will be our child, whether they are black, white, yellow, purple or green. That this child will be ours and be sooo loved.. Along this walk, going back and forth, our family has been continually looking for God’s direction, in a economy that is really struggling right now. I know and  believe God will do what he needs to, no matter what.. Abundantly and surprisingly more than we can even ask of him.

A few months back, Michael was worried about getting laid off from his job and my sister Cindy,  knew that I was worried about how  we were going to adopt now? She mentioned Foster care, which at the time I just felt like I can’t do that. No way! I even told my other sister Debbie, that some people have that gift but I surely don’t. Nope not going to do that. Meanwhile Debbie had mentioned calling Catholic or Lutheran  Social Services,  which I didn’t do.

A few weeks back I wrote about a friend of the family who just got her baby and how quick it was. I found out from my brother Gregg, that she is doing foster/adoption. I didn’t know anything about this and started researching it after a few weeks. Just realized, that all of a sudden she has her baby and how did that happen so quick, one minute Gregg told me she’s looking into adoption  and the next she has her daughter. Of course, right away I’m thinking this has to be so quick since she has no other kids.

Well I decided to call her.

Now things are changed again. We are following a path, road, lane or whatever you want to call it.   While we are waiting to see what will happen in Nepal or Ghana next year, we have another path, to go down. We are examining the foster/adopt program which Catholic Social Services has a opportunity for us to become foster adoptive parents.

I think its so cool and awesome that one of my good friends said, my prayer was that he would just show you where he wanted you to be. Also my sister said I’ve been praying for God to give you direction to show you. I also am amazed by my God, that he was trying to show me all along, by both of my sisters and my brother, saying here, here’s another way. Are you listening to me, wake up, here are other orphans. Even if this ends up not being the direction to find our little orphan, we are changing our hearts, minds and soul. An orphan  is an orphan.

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. Psalm 119:105

More to come later!    Continue to partner with us in prayer for God’s direction.