Little Feet’s Blog

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Pequenopie “Little Feet” May 27, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — pequenopie @ 2:36 am

It’s been so long since I have written, it’s been a little over a year in a half. Abby is now 4 1/2 and doing so well. She’s in preschool now
everyday and it’s so good for her. She is language delayed and in a great program that we see progress almost daily. We have all our girls living at home now, there is 7 of us. I guess I need to back up a little.

Last time I posted it was October of 2012, we were hoping and waiting to foster another child and hopefully adopt, one last time. We
decided we had more love to give and that Abby needed a sibling closer in age. Since our older girls are adults, work and have their own relationships, we realized it would be like Abby was an only child in a few years.

Near the end of November 2012, we were notified by our agency about a child that would be born in a few days and would we take her, we said yes. We were so excited, I started going through all my baby stuff seeing what I needed and nesting for a short time. We had actually waited over a year and once we changed our race wants to any color it happened much faster. We again realized that it didn’t matter if this child was white, brown, blue or orange, that we would just walk in faith and see how God would move.

The baby was born on November 27th and after 10 days of waiting and getting frustrated. Since the child was realeased from the hospital but dhs was slower, we went to the hospital and got a baby. She was absolutley beautiful. I will go through some of our waits, joys and agony but she will be ours in a few months. Another child to bless and be blessed by.

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Pequenopie “Little Feet” October 8, 2012

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This was 2 years ago today, a very important special day. In my life, it is one of those most special days, along with marrying my husband and having my three beautiful daughters. Adding my fourth daughter, in a courtroom, full of so much laughter and love. Abby almost screamed happily and giggled through the whole thing. It was like she knew something important and beautiful was happening right at that moment.

So amazing, I really have no words for it. Their were tears streaming down almost all our faces. Michael and I were talking about how it feels like forever but also like yesterday. She is such an important part of our family and all of us don’t know what we’d do without her. Isn’t it so like God to do that, to make it feel like she is our birth daughter, like she is a part of me. She didn’t come from my body but she came from my heart and God knew she was to be ours. When I look back all the puzzle pieces fit, even though at the time I may not have seen them.

Our father takes our dreams and prayers and makes it fit, puts us with family and people in our lives that fit. That word fit doesn’t even feel like the right word, its more than that. People use the word fate, note sure if that’s it either. Could it be our destiny, I don’t know, but I do know it feels right. She is ours and will always be.

Tomorrow Abby is turning three, I can’t believe how big she is getting. She is a beautiful little bug and I’m so honored and blessed to be her momma. 

 More to come!

“Adoption is the highest privilege that the Gospel offers—higher even than justification. To be right with God the Judge is a great thing, but to be loved and cared for by God the Father is greater.” {J.I. Packer}

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” September 9, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — pequenopie @ 7:47 pm

Serenity Prayer, God grant me the serenity, cherry blossom

Lately it seems like everyone I know, is having an issue in their lives, no matter what it is, it can be very difficult. After 25 years of marriage Michael and I have had our moments, like everyone does. Of heartbreak, pain, hurt, illness, worries, all these things can happen in our extended families and friends, which effect all of those around us. There are times when we feel all alone or when is the next big thing going to happen.

Life is hard, no one ever said it would be easy. We all have times of joy but getting through the hard times are I believe, who God is making us into. Michael and I started our marriage with drug and alcohol abuse and I can really say I wouldn’t change a thing. It has made us both into the people we are today. Being a young mother and having these issues, I felt all alone but even in the darkest moments, I know my father was with me.

This prayer is a really good one to remember when you are hurting, struggling and just don’t know what to do. I find when I’m really hurting, I can barely pray for myself, its so hard for me to find the words. I am comforted to know that my father, my God, knows my hurts and knows my thoughts and prayers before they even come off my lips. To find serenity in just knowing you are not alone, ever. That is so amazing, that he knows all things. Yes, and sometimes we have to have courage and not know what’s going to happen in the end. To just have faith, trust and hope, in things not seen.

So have faith, hope, and love and know you are never alone. He hears your thoughts, needs and knows all things.

More to come later!

Philippians 4:6-7  do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” August 30, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — pequenopie @ 6:46 pm

I haven’t posted anything in quite a while but felt so inspired to share a post my hubby wrote on his blog. It’s about the love of a father and our heavenly father also. Hope you enjoy!

CLEAVE

It was a Sunday morning at Church, not a regular Sunday because I was leading worship this week. I led worship last Sunday, but I was still a bit nervous this week, my throat was scratchy and I could feel a little bit of sinus pressure in my head.  I walked over to where my wife and two and a half year old daughter were sitting and was greeted with a huge around the neck kind of hug.   Abby (daughter) seemed a little clingy this morning.  I kneeled down on the floor and she stood right up on my knees and just wrapped her arms around my neck and held on.  As she reached around she tucked one of her hands below my collar and I could feel her fingers rubbing my neck.  It was one of those moments that you tell yourself,  “don’t ever forget this”.  A perfect moment of Love, protection, grace and trust.  What I haven’t told you is that Abby is adopted, an orphan who was grafted into our family, which is the reason that these moments are so special.    There is a whole host of things that I could write about with regard to the ‘grafting-in’, but I’ll save that for another post.

When Abby grabbed me and held on tight, I could only respond like a Father and squeeze her back.  As she moved her face to mine, I matched her move and we sat cheek to cheek for a minute. As she moved her fingers on my neck under my collar, I rubbed her neck too.  It was perfect harmony and perfect peace.  It was good.   I hated to have to peel her off to play music, but I had too.  As we were playing I started to think about that moment and it became very clear that this is God’s desire.  That we grab on to Him, that when He is kneeling next to us, we just step right up on His knees and wrap our arms around His neck.   Remember that Jesus said:“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”     So this begs the question:  If God is who He says He is, our Father in Heaven, will He respond to us as I responded to Abigail ?   Will He match our desire to be close to Him?  Will He move closer to us as we move as we move closer to him? 

I know that this is difficult to comprehend, especially as we are unable to physically see or touch Him. So another question must be asked: Is the self-less commitment to helping the less fortunate a kiss on the cheek to God (Father)?   Is the faceless simple act of kindness any given day a hug around the neck to our Dad?   I know that it feels so good to be praising Him and singing to Him during a worship service, but is that really the ‘hug around the neck”?   I’m NOT, NOT, NOT discounting our time of worship, be it in a corporate setting or while we are alone in our closet, I’m just asking the question.                                                What is the SPECIAL moment ?   Is it when we are beaten down and in a place of surrender?  Is it the time where we have exhausted all of our own power and are forced to lean on Him?  Or is it when we seek Him in the Morning, Day and Night?  Is it when we lean on Him to be our everything ?

Maybe its none of the above, I don’t claim to know.  What I do know is this,  as a man with the Heart of a Father, nothing felt better than that moment when my child, cleaved to me, PROVING to me that I was her protector, helper, sustainer and father. 

May we all seek to relate to our Father in Heaven in a more intense and intimate way.

PEACE 

 

I have missed updating you all on our lives and putting pictures up of Abby and all our girls, so I’m going to re-dedicate myself, to writing at least once a month or more often, if I feel led to.

More to come!

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” April 9, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — pequenopie @ 6:03 pm

Happy Easter!

On Easter and other special Holidays I think we all really think of what we are really grateful for. I am grateful for family, friends, my husband and beautiful children. There are so many things to be grateful for, too many things for me to list.

Having all of my girls celebrating Easter with us, is more than I can say. To have my 18 year old back, living with us, repairing our relationship. Working again on trust and having her see her mistakes. We all make mistakes, it is part of what makes us be, who God intended us to be. Most of us are scared of making these mistakes or going through the hard times. But I know when I have gone through those hard times, they have made me rely on God, mature and see mistakes and choose to never go down that path again.

So in this continuing chapter of our lives, I see joy, peace, change and love. There are things I can’t see around the corner, but I’m so excited to see what God has planned for each and every one of us. Today Abby is 2 1/2, and to see her be mine, to see everything and how it all came to pass, makes me even more excited. I knew this year there would be changes and sometimes I find change can be hard. Forgiveness and change are the hardest for people to go through.

More to come!

“The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven.” Hebrews 1:3 

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” March 21, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — pequenopie @ 7:27 pm

It’s been a while since I posted, so I decided it was time to do another post.

Some things are the same and some are different, Abby is growing up so fast, it’s amazing. In a few weeks she will be 2 1/2, I can’t believe how time has flown by, so fast.

Each of our older girls are doing really well. Beka is working hard and is in the middle of being divorced. Aubrey is almost, within a few weeks, going to be on the floor at her cosmetology floor. She’ll be working on real human beings. Lizzy is almost out of school, her senior year and has a job at pizza hut. All of our girls are making us so proud and we love them all.

Sometimes life has tiny bumps or things we are waiting on. Even when there is tons of joy in your life, there can be things that aren’t finished or complete. I have been pondering this the last few days because at times those things are all you can see. It could be waiting on a job, or waiting for your house to sell, gosh I do remember that. Or waiting to get married, have kids, or for retirement. What ever it is, some can be more difficult than others.

Maybe seeing a situation and waiting for your grown child to see they have a problem or hoping your child’s marriage is on the mend. Whatever it is sometimes these issues overlap other issues and seem to bombard us with impatience or frustration and we don’t always look at the simple joys right in front of our faces.

I do have comfort cause I know God has it all worked out for me, he knows each one of these things and I don’t have to worry or be plagued by them. It is wonderful to have this comfort but sometimes we want to lean on ourselves and want the answers now. In many of lives struggles I have seen God work miracles, things that me myself could not do any better or even see. So I am a work in progress, waiting on him.

More to come!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” February 6, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — pequenopie @ 1:04 am

Life has it’s ups and downs for all of us, one day can be a good day and the next, maybe not as good. It also can change in an instant, where everything is where you think it should be and then wham.

We are on a daily basis of ups and down and changes, I think that happens when you have young adults in your home. One moment everything is great with work and school and the next it’s not. That’s also how life is.

Abby in some ways is almost easier than these young women and all the drama that sometimes seeps into their lives. Abby’s only issues right now are taking a good nap and sometimes she has teething pain. Even though sometimes its difficult, I wouldn’t change a thing. Having my daughter back in our home, while she’s going through her divorce and getting back on her feet, is an honor for us to be there for her.

Also having Aubrey still at home, seeing her grow into such an amazing young woman is so wonderful. She is in cosmetology school now and has found her thing. We all hope to find our thing, our passion, and sometimes it takes a long time. How wonderful that at 21, Aubrey is finally finding her way, her place. She has about 120 more hours to go and then she’ll be on the salon floor at her school.

Abby of course keeps us busy everyday and now is saying new words if not daily, almost every few days. She has just learned how to say, bird, fish, ew, yuck, Kyle, Stacy, and elbow. She still loves dancing and is very active, she keeps me on my toes every day.

I am so glad to have her and to know she is right at home here with us. She is even getting upset lately when Michael leaves. At first you wonder will she ever know that we are hers and to feel secure here and before you know it, you see it everyday. She’s becoming a daddy’s girl and her daddy is loving it.

We are now seeing Lizzy and trying to be loving and open with her, to the best of our ability. It really choked me up seeing Michael and her hug, for the first time since early November. Life is hard sometimes and we have to take the changes and go through them, the best way we can. We are loving her, even though we don’t approve of some of her decisions and the way she handled them. But isn’t life a learning process and we are all put into this thing called life and we are given many choices and we hope the way we raise our children, that some day they will make the right decisions for themselves.

More to come later!

“For the word of the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does. The LORD loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of his unfailing love.” Psalm 33:4-5 

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” January 20, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — pequenopie @ 8:33 pm

As we celebrated Martin Luther King day this week, I have been pondering what this means to so many people, what it will mean to our Abby girl. There is so much prejudice in the world, it’s so unreal. People are judged not only on their color, but how they look, what they do, so many different things.

When I meet someone for the first time, I’m not looking at their color or how they dress. I look to see what is in someone, what is in their heart and soul. Sometimes you can see this outwardly, you just know by seeing them in that instant that they are kind, loving and a good soul.

God made each one of us unique, beautiful and special. Not one of us are the same, how truly amazing is that. There is only one of me, inside and out. Only one of you, you won’t find another one of you, anywhere in this world. When I look in Abbys face I see a beautiful girl, with dark eyes and curly hair. I don’t see her color, even though her coloring is beautiful. From the instant I laid eyes on her I thought how beautiful she is.

She is not my coloring, she is a caramel color, she has white and african american in her family. I think of her, an innocent little child, and I wonder how will she be treated. Being adopted by a white family, living in a majority of a white neighborhood. I hope that she will see her skin and see how beautiful it is and never wish she was white like me.

We are all unique and different, so as a parent of this child, I will teach her it’s what’s inside that counts. You can be the most beautiful person on the outside, wear all the right clothes and look the look but be so ugly inside. It’s the inside that is what a person is.

More to come later!

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” January 10, 2012

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Happy New Year!

We had a wonderful time at New Years with my family, almost all of us were gathered together, and those that were not, were greatly missed. My parents were in from Tennessee, we celebrated my dads 80th birthday, so it was a great time being all together. Of course miss Abby, stole the show, like she always seems to do.

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This was a difficult Holiday this year for many people that I know, going through hard times during the Holidays can even make things harder. It is an added pressure, family coming in and everyone is supposed to be together. Emotions can run very high also, just trying to get everything done, wrapping, cooking, cleaning and so much more.

We have had our share of challenges and changes at the end of this past year. Seeing our oldest daughter start a new chapter without her husband, finding herself and trying to start over again. Also our youngest daughter has moved out and we were truly devastated.

Life has a way of marching on, moment by moment, and day by day. Before you know it, it has been months. Most days we are ok, happy and joyous but then feelings come in or a situation can make it really difficult. Through the difficult times you really see who your support system is. Family and friends have been so good to us, and God is our constant. Without him, don’t know how we could get through some of these days.

I look at Abby everyday and know how truly blessed we are. Not only has my family, friends, hubby and children been such a support but having Abby makes things so good for me. I have to get up in the morning, feed her, play with her, she depends on me.

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Looking forward to new beginnings, memories, joy, laughter and so much more in this new year. We are still waiting for that much awaited call from the agency, we know that we have more love to give and share. Also that even through these hard times, God has put this on our hearts and souls. I can’t think of a better thing to put my hands to. To be a loving wife, mother, and a help to another child, a safe place.

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. James 3:17

More to come!

 

Pequenopie “Little Feet” December 24, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — pequenopie @ 2:48 am

As we near Christmas and everything that Christmas represents, we are focusing on all these things we have to do. Shopping, parties, wrapping, and spending time with family and friends. Most of us receive and give gifts to our loved ones and maybe some of us give a gift to a charity or to someone who is struggling just to have a Christmas dinner. I also think we may look at our lives and see all the blessings that God has given us. I saw this video posted from Dawn, a fellow adoptee, who was working in China when I was there and was truly touched. I think it not only is about Chinese orphans, but all orphans all over the world. Chinese, Russian, African, American and on and on, they are all the same. I pray for more families to be touched by adoption and to see what a beautiful gift it really is.

what all these children really want are a family for Christmas. We all have wants and needs, that we hope for. This makes them all seem so silly and ridiculous. There are families that just want a meal on the table or some heat from their furnace. It really puts things into perspective. When I saw this video I couldn’t help but thinking of the miracle that we are living daily, with our little Abby. How blessed we are to have her in our family, to be her mom and dad, her sister, her grandparent, aunt or uncle.

 Have a Merry, Merry Christmas!

More to come later!

“Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”” Luke 2:11-14